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Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One's Search for Comfort, Answers, and Hope, by Albert Y. Hsu
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- A 2003 Finalist in the United Kingdom Christian Book Awards
- Sales Rank: #975818 in Books
- Published on: 2017-07-04
- Released on: 2017-07-04
- Original language: English
- Binding: Paperback
- 200 pages
From Publishers Weekly
This guide for suicide survivors family and friends of people who took their own lives maintains InterVarsity Press's tradition of cerebral evangelicalism: it is biblical, well reasoned, clearly presented and thoroughly researched. Such a head-over-heart presentation is not surprising, since the author is an IVP editor. An unexpected bonus is the personal thread Hsu weaves through each chapter, the story of his own deep grief at his father's sudden suicide four years ago. In the book's first section, Hsu explores the emotions of grief from sudden shock to eventual remembrance. Though his map of grieving differs from the familiar one proposed by Elisabeth K bler-Ross, Hsu never minimizes grief's importance. "Only when we actively mourn will we be able to receive the comfort that God and others offer," he writes. Nevertheless, "those without [Christian] hope grieve in one way; those with hope grieve in another." The Christian way of grieving is Hsu's focus in the latter half of the book, where he surveys Scripture to deal with questions such as whether people who die by suicide can go to heaven, where God is when tragedy strikes and what can be learned from suicide. With its careful biblical exposition presented in a friendly homiletic style, Hsu's how-to-think-about-suicide book will have value for evangelical pastors and counselors as much as perhaps even more than for the bereaved themselves.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
Hsu's wise, bittersweet, intelligently written book relates his own coping with unexpected, violent death and compassionately examines the emotional and theological issues of suicide. Hsu's father was a suicide at 59. He had suffered a stroke and become depressed during the preceding weeks, yet his death was a great shock. Respecting his readers--for instance, by acknowledging individual differences in grieving--Hsu encourages remembering while lamenting and realizing that one will never know what could have been. He addresses such difficult, unanswerable questions as "Why did it happen?" and "Could anything have prevented it?" while exploring the morality of suicide and the problem of forgiving the suicide with great sensitivity and care. Suffering, he concludes, is part of the human condition. Rather than pondering "unfathomable mysteries," it is better to do one's best to achieve relief. Despite suffering, one can still find meaning, connect with others, and hope that good can come from pain and healing from grief. Strongly recommended for those who have lost a loved one to suicide. June Sawyers
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
"Grieving a Suicide is one of the most helpful books I read after our son, Matthew, died by suicide. I scribbled notes and comments to myself on nearly every page of this revised and expanded edition, and I found Al Hsu's compassionate and practical words even more beneficial than before. He has walked this painful path and knows firsthand how to give hope and comfort to grieving people. Grieving a Suicide is on my list of must-read books for survivors of suicide loss." (Kay Warren, Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, California)
"Having lost my brother to suicide, I am often asked by other survivors for recommendations of helpful resources. Al Hsu's Grieving a Suicide will now be the first I recommend. It is comprehensive without being clinical, practical without offering easy answers. And while Hsu's book is tremendously hopeful, it does not flinch at this bald fact: suicide is turmoil and trauma." (Jen Pollock Michel, award-winning author of Teach Us to Want and Keeping Place)
"My family, maybe like yours, has been touched by suicide. Answers are often sparse and the questions linger. In the midst of the pain, we mourn and we grieve. In this unique and helpful book, Al Hsu helps us to grieve well in the midst of the hurt." (Ed Stetzer, Billy Graham Distinguished Chair, Wheaton College)
"Al Hsu has updated Grieving a Suicide, an already-valued resource that I recommend to every Christian grieving a suicide. This book is an honest and authentic telling of Al's story of grappling with his father's suicide. It's a story that desperately needs expression in the church, to bring suicide out of the shadows. The bonus gift of the book is listening in on Al's theological and practical reflections on the gut-wrenching complexities of suicide." (Karen Mason, associate professor of counseling and psychology, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, author of Preventing Suicide)
"In a world that often meets our most desperate moments with silence, this book is a vital voice of hope. Leaving space for grief, Hsu offers clear answers to questions people don't ask until they have to. In the process, he graciously points us toward life and light, which can be so hard to see in the darkness left by suicide." (Amy Simpson, life and leadership coach, author of Troubled Minds)
"This is a sad, painful, comforting, and wonderful book. Al Hsu, with endearing honesty, carries the reader on a journey through his own story of grief, weaving together many contemporary, literary, and historic examples of responses to suicide and possible explanations for such a tragic choice. He does not shrink from grappling with tough questions about life and God that are raised by such suffering. This is a profound, detailed, and immensely helpful book for anyone touched by the suicide of a friend or family member. I know of no other book so comprehensive, sensitive, and healing." (Richard Winter, psychotherapist, professor emeritus of counseling and applied theology, Covenant Theological Seminary, author of When Life Goes Dark)
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Grieving a Suicide
By S. Chandler
After losing my daughter to suicide almost five years ago & I thought the book 'Grieving a Suicide' might be of help to a friend who just lost her husband to suicide. After reading half of the book it brought back too much of the pain associated with suicide so I won't be giving my friend the book at this point. It may be helpful to some, but it depends on the timing. I have done quite well since my daughter's death, but this book didn't give me the boost I expected. It may help some but I wasn't ready for it.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Sensitive and insightful
By B. Ross
Every suicide loss is different, and everyone grieves differently. There is no one book that satifies everyone's need for support during this kind of traumatic loss. However, I find Hsu's writing very sensitive and empathetic, and his understanding of God's role in healing very helpful. My son died by suicide in 2008. The process of finding God in a Christian environment that stigmatizes and judges mental health and suicide is excruciating. While I know that people may not be responsive because they don't know what to say, Christians know better than to believe that God doesn't expect them to LEARN what to say. I really loved this book. The writing is good, it is thoughtful, and the spiritual connection was very helpful for me.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Anybody who has had a loved one commit suicide never gets to figure out why ...
By Richard B.
Anybody who has had a loved one commit suicide never gets to figure out why and the bigger question what could have I done to prevent this and why didn't I see it coming.
This book is setup so you read it all in order for really great help - or when it happens you go through very specific phases covered in the book and the author recommends skipping to what you are feeling maybe today or tomorrow or whenever something hits you.
I have had two friends in this unfortunate situation - they both said thank you so much - it was the best help I had during this crappy period of life. I only read the excellent reviews of this book (it contains religious offerings - which some may not like but it isn't trying to convert you but offer explanations) but never read it myself.
My friends son killed himself - I gave this book to his father who read it and referenced it? His wife also read it and recognized certain phases/stages and was able to identify and help him recognize what/why things were happening.
If somebody is against religion then maybe not a good book - but some find god when bad things happen - IT IS AN EXCELLENT BOOK, YOU CAN THROW AWAY IN THE TRASH CAN THINGS YOU DONT LIKE/BELIEVE BUT THIS BOOK WORKS!!!!!
Nobody knows what to say when it happens and I felt I could do nothing to help -- THIS BOOK IS HELP.
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