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Divorce is an extremely turbulent, stressful and emotional process ... and one during which women must make many important financial decisions that will, for better or worse, impact the rest of their lives, including the division of assets and debt, the marital home, tax liabilities, alimony, etc.
Thinking financially is not always easy. But, it is possible, especially if you have some help.
Anyone, no matter how savvy, can benefit from expert advice when she is crossing through such treacherous and unfamiliar territory.
Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally® provides women with everything they need to know to establish a secure financial future for themselves and their children before, during and after a financially complicated divorce. The book guides women on how to focus on vital financial matters, offering specific instruction on a number of key issues vital to securing long-term financial security, including:
- building a top-notch divorce
- team uncovering a husband's hidden assets
- protecting your personal assets, business and intellectual properties
- dealing with pensions, 401Ks and other retirement accounts
- negotiating alimony
. . . and so much more!
Begin your single life knowing you have made the thoughtful decisions required to help establish your long-term financial security.
Think Financially, Not Emotionally® as you look ahead to a bright future for yourself and your children.
A portion of the purchase price of each book sold is donated to various charities that help female victims of domestic abuse and their children.
What People Are Saying About Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally®
"Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally® is a wonderful guide for women seeking to secure their financial future." --Renowned divorce attorney Laura A. Wasser, whose client list includes Heidi Klum, Angelina Jolie, Christina Aguilera and other celebrities
"I wish I had this book when I was going through my divorce! It would have made the learning curve much less steep" --Sonja Morgan, star of The Real Housewives of New York.
"I wholeheartedly applaud Jeff's efforts to support women in abusive situations." --Syndicated columnist Liz Smith
- Sales Rank: #26331 in Books
- Published on: 2015-01-08
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .49" w x 5.50" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 214 pages
Review
Jeff Landers has set out to ensure that women going through a divorce get everything they are entitled to, avoiding the pitfalls of making decisions based on feelings rather than facts.
Unlike many other books on divorce, he takes the perspective of the other spouse being potentially dishonest and teaches you how to make sure they do not deplete/hide assets.
He has really seen it all and he brings this wealth of knowledge to bear on his writing.
This book is a definite winner and should be on the bedside table of every woman contemplating divorce.
-- Rebecca McLeod for Readers' Favorite
When facing a divorce, many times women don't know how, or don't think about how, to secure their financial future.
If you are going through a divorce, or know someone who is, this is a really good book to have on hand. You will find many questions answered here, plus a lot of advice and tips you probably never thought about. Don't make any decisions, or sign anything, until you have read this book.
Joy Hannabass
From the Author
Thank you for your interest in my book!
Please note that I wrote Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally® for a national audience, and so it does not focus on the laws and regulations of any specific state. What's more, my book is about the financial aspects -not the legal aspects - of divorce. I wrote it specifically to help women learn how to secure their financial futures and come through divorce on firm financial footing.
About the Author
Jeffrey A. Landers, CDFA™ is the creator of the Think Financially, Not Emotionally® brand which encompasses books, seminars, workshops, online content (articles, eLearning courses, webinars, etc.), and other products and services to inform women and their advisors about the financial impacts of divorce and help them stay focused on money issues throughout the process -before, during, and after.
Jeff writes "Divorce Dollars and Sense," a weekly blog for Forbes.com about the financial aspects of divorce for women, and he contributes articles regularly to The Huffington Post, DailyWorth, More.com, Lawyers.com, and many other online outlets.
Jeff has also been extensively interviewed about the financial aspects of divorce for women by CBS and FOX Television News and such prestigious publications as The Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones, The Miami Herald, Smart Money, Consumer Reports, and The Christian Science Monitor.
Jeff earned his BA degree in psychology from Columbia University and studied law at Pace University School of Law before becoming a divorce financial advisor.
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Much much cheaper to get this List here ......... than from your lawyer.
By Techno-Mom
A must-have for the stay-at-home spouse who's up against divorce. The author covers all the stuff you should be gathering for preparing for a divorce, and it is *much much cheaper to get the list from him than from your lawyer.*
Get this even if your income is low; you can't afford not to be prepared, regardless.
Something he doesn't say: Make a timeline for your lawyer, include major financial decisions and happenings (like when he/she left or got a big bonus, and also who has the kids and when/how long, when he/she moved out, etc...) Think like a detective and keep documentation, including printing out texts.
This book is a little bit dated, but you will get a thorough list of what to do to prepare for a divorce. Do not hide your head in the sand. Someone needs to take care of you, and he might be gone now, so you have only yourself; separate your emotional wreckage from your care-taker-self, and just do it. You will be glad you did, later on when you have recovered from this, because the aftermath of a divorce is long term. In most states, you can go back for a modification in child support every 2 or 3 years, but this book covers the initial divorce where you divvy up all assets.
UPDATE, 5/2016: My divorce has been final for a long time now. However, having compared notes with so many other women with children, every single one has a story of how their soon-to-be-Ex got them to agree to less child support, less of the assets, or whatever, because they felt sorry for them, or they trusted them for some dumb reason. One woman's story struck me hard: she agreed to a small lump sum because he said he was financially ruined. Turns out that he was lying to her and actually had >10x more than he was claiming to have. He did not support his children, either. She supported her kids on a Walmart job while he got a new wife. (Which reduces him to a DNA-donor at best.) Please put on your no-nonsense hat when dealing with your ex. The least said, the better. You can always give him money later, if you must. But what happens in court is binding; that decree is your only shot at future-proofing your financial future and that of your children. The court believes that the kids should get *the same standard of living at both households,* regardless of everything else. (New spouses and rich girlfriends/boyfriends do not factor in at all; it's not their kids.) The child support will go to whomever makes less (historical salary plays a part.)
Off-topic:
Whatever you do, do not lie or otherwise try to mislead a judge. If you must, back out of the court proceedings and tell everyone you need to think about it and then get a new lawyer and a new judge assigned. I had a really Pro-Dad judge (nothing wrong with that) who decided to override my already-agreed-upon decree (not fair to me because I had given up all child support) and wrote in a clause himself because he felt the agreement was not fair to my soon-to-be-ex (who makes more than I do.) I was shocked; and I signed. I could have chosen not to sign it and waited another 2 months for a new court date and a new judge. Stupid me. My lawyer was so inexperienced, he did not advise me one way or another and I thought I had to sign that divorce decree because it could not be changed. Wrong....
Lawyers cannot be trusted 100%, either. If you have a bad feeling about yours, listen to your intuition. Get the docs that they have made to date and go find another lawyer. (Reviews online are manipulated by lawyers, BTW. Try getting a referral from a friend.) Judges are just people and have opinions about what "should" be, and will interpret the law so as to color it to their opinion. A purple shovel still works like a shovel, but most people seem to expect a regular looking shovel! That's what judges do. As an engineer, I had some dumb idea that judges are impartial.
And last but not least, bite your tongue if you have to, but with children you need to remember that your spouse is their beloved daddy/mommy (ok, well, not in ALL cases...some children are abused.) Can you imagine what it would have felt like as a young child if your mom/dad had said nasty things about someone you still loved? Bite your tongue and don't say anything. Take the high road on that one and talk about him to your friends when the kids are not around. Your children will be VERY aware of his flaws when they get older. Until then, they need to feel like they can trust you. I cannot speak to everyone's situation; I am speaking about my own. My parents are still together. And my ex was not a demon, just an idiot. This applies both ways; shortly after my divorce, my brother got divorced (he's a pastor, and it ruined his ability to be a pastor forever when his wife left him for another man, in his denomination. Yup.) But she is an engineer, and now he is getting child support from her. So the shoe CAN go on the other foot...the court will try to even things up with respect to the children. Family court is a racket: constitutional rights do not really exist. If you want to know more, watch "Divorce Corp" on Netflix. It's a really ugly part of the American legal system. Be careful and best wishes.
72 of 73 people found the following review helpful.
FIVE GOLDEN STARS
By Amazon Customer
Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally
Jeffrey A. Landers
Anyone that thinks divorce is a piece of cake, no sweat or not a problem has either taken something to calm their nerves, is living in world of make believe or not facing reality. Divorce is difficult but the end result is what you make of it and how you work to make sure that you and your children come out financially sound. Anger, loss, betrayal, disloyalties, hate, fear, panic are just some of the emotions and feelings you might feel just learning that your spouse has decided to let's say move on with his life. But, there is help, hope and definitely many support systems out there that a smart, savvy and well-prepared woman can avail herself of before falling down a deep dark pit known as financial disaster. Many women fall into several different traps when they begin the process of landing on their feet and finding their way to financial freedom and independence.
When deciding that this is your only route you need to think with your head and your mind and leave those emotions of anger, helplessness, despair and rage somewhere else. You need to be informed, you need to have the right team of experts handling your case and you need to read page 5 of this great resource to help you create a checklist of what you need to know from the start. Your goal or mission and you do choose to accept it is to make sure that when all is said and done you go not remain in this Divorce Rollercoaster or take an elevator ride that goes up and down getting you nowhere but emerge debt free, emotionally sound and of course with your finances in tact. But, first warnings that you must heed first. When driving your car you know that the yield or stop sign means you need to stop or take notice of another car allowing them to go first or they have to yield the right of way. No one is going to yield the right of way in a divorce so you need to charge ahead on your own but first: STOP: LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING: If Uncle Ned or Aunt Sally suggests that cousin Tim do your finances thank them and cordially decline. If Nora Jean your best friend has divorce advice for you on how to handle your ex-husband thank her but do not act on what she says. Author Jeffrey A. Landers, CDFA states three major reasons whey you need to not heed the advice of friends and relatives. First, every woman's divorce is different. Second, "A little knowledge can be very dangerous," and third you can find the professional help you need. Numbers one and two you can read the explanations for yourself but I will focus on number three. You need to find a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who is trained to handle and understand the financial aspects of divorce. The author then elaborates on his training and why relatives and friends would not be the right ones enlists in this matter even if they happen to be CPA's or financial planners. Added in he adds a Reminder at the end of the chapter telling readers that divorce financial advisors are the most qualified and knowledgeable to handle your case and deal with the good you might say and the bad. An important point that many people forget and all too often I have seen on the social networks and that is comments, statements, pictures, remarks, facebook updates, tweets, blogs and photos that will make you look bad. Watching your words, not putting photos of you out with the girls in a bar or a club would show that you are using your mind and not venting your anger in public. Emails, texts and other forms of communication are divorce lawyers you might say chocolate treat that they eat up, swallow and savor at your expense. So, let's talk divorce. Not that hard and you see it really is just a word you have to fully understand not just because it means a disbanded marriage but what the words inner most thoughts and feelings express and how they will affect you.
There are six financial steps that the author explains in chapter three that are vital, crucial and needed to Prepare for divorce. Step One: Collect financial documents. Step Two: Check Your Credit Report. Step Three: Research Divorce Professionals, Step Five: Really important so listen carefully: Open New Accounts in Your Name and finally Establish Private Communication. What that means is take out a post office box so that your mail comes to a different place and your soon to be ex cannot get his hands on it. Change your mobile phone number, passwords and pins to insure that your privacy and funds are not invaded. Be aware of what he is doing and by getting your credit report you will know if he is using your name, social security number or accounts for himself or maybe a hidden girlfriend.
Chapter Four highlights how to get organized and the ball rolling in your direction of favor. After you collect your financial documents you need to have a Lifestyle Analysis Prepared, which "establishes your standard of living," during the time you were married. In other words it is the day-to-day living expenses incurred during your marriage and the spending habits of both you and your spouse. Monitoring your spending is vital and secure funds for professional fees and once again I cannot impress this upon you too much: Get A Copy of Your Credit Report. Next, the author explains Legal matters. Chapter Five is really self-explanatory where the author explains the four divorce alternatives. I will let you read that for yourself. Chapter 6 is quite vital, compelling and will set you on the right road to divorce and financial success. You need four Key Players on your Divorce Team: Matrimonial/Family Law Attorney, Divorce Financial Planner, forensic account, a valuation expert and one more for homeowners or proper owners: A real estate appraiser. But, do not feel that there is something wrong with you if you or your children need to speak to a therapist or counselor. But, the most vital member of the team is YOU! Chapter 7 focuses on protecting your credit followed by a detailed explanation of equitable distribution and community property. First, you need to learn whether you live in a community property state or equitable distribution state and the definitions are clear and the examples quite detailed. A really interesting chapter that will save you much grief and might make things easier for you to understand is what is the difference between separate vs. marital property detailed in Chapter 9 and Chapter 10 which explains the importance of understanding and knowing your exact date of separation and how it plays in your divorce proceedings. Valuation Dates: in a divorce that is the "point in time when that dollar value is assigned. Divorce requires "the division of all marital assets." This is explained in detail and easily understood in Chapter 11. Did you ever hear the terms: MINE, HIS, OURS: Well chapter 12 Active vs. Passive Appreciation will explain that more fully. Let me explain further: An asset can increase in value in one of two ways: Actively or passively. Actively: as a result of actions by the owner of the asset or passively as a result of change in the market. The rules, how it applies in equitable distribution states, what the judge must find and how this affects your assets is explained in detail in this chapter.
Chapter 13 is crucial as it discusses whether you should keep your house. Several questions come into play: Why you are interested in keeping the house? Can you afford to keep it? Have you fully considered the truth worth of the house vs. other assets? Be careful when it comes to retirement accounts and pension and whether your spouse is entitled to a part of it or a percentage. Chapter 14 explains that retirement funds added during your marriage are considered marital property. Division of 401 K's and pension require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. A QDRO specialist will help you avoid mistakes. Once again you can read about alimony yourself and health, life and social security in chapters 15 and 16. Protecting your business if the bulk of Chapter 17.
Special topics makes up Part two and the first is eight underhanded tactics husbands use during divorce and the author explains each one, gives examples and how to protect yourself. Next, eight places husbands hide assets like a safety deposit box, overpaying the IRS or creditors or even transferring stock. So, be vigilant and stay alert. Let's hope things do not get out of hand and the information in Chapter 21 will be just that information dealing with restraining orders. How to Divorce Proof your Business and Post and Prenups and finally the seven important steps for Financial Stability After Divorce: Update your accounts, develop a comprehensive financial plan, build your credit and seek help from a financial advisor. You guessed it there are more but you need to learn what they are for yourself in order to understand how to get to be financially stable on your own. Appendix A has your financial checklist and the author is the founder of Bedrock Divorce Advisors and works exclusively with women. Author Jeffrey A. Landers presents a clear, concise, easy to understand way for women to find their way to financial stability during and after a divorce. This is a great resource for everyone to read. I would even say that before young couples marry they might want to read this book to understand the seriousness of marriage and what might happen if their marriage winds up in divorce. One great book that is a definite must read.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
New York Divorce by Landers
By edward w franklin
I was astounded to learn after purchasing this book that it is out of date do to major changes in NY divorce law since it was written. I tried to say this succinctly when asked by Amazon to review it but my review was rejected as too short. Obviously the favorable reviews get published even where there is reason to believe (due to their effusive and unjustified enthusiasm. I am suspicious that, like fan reviews of movies, many are done by paid hacks. l will no longer rely on Amazon given my experience.
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