Free PDF The Penis Book, by Joseph Cohen
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The Penis Book, by Joseph Cohen
Free PDF The Penis Book, by Joseph Cohen
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Think you know everything about penises?
Bet you don’t know what hospitals do with foreskins after they’ve been snipped away. How fortunes were made in the war against wet dreams. The one song you should never whistle at a urinal. Or the woes of working on a “hopping penis” assembly line.
The Penis Book celebrates the male member like nothing else before. So get ready to learn. Laugh. And be downright titillated, too. No matter what your relationship with the penis, The Penis Book has something for everyone.
- Sales Rank: #1037539 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Crown Archetype
- Published on: 2004-09-21
- Released on: 2004-09-21
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 6.75" h x .53" w x 6.77" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 128 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
From Publishers Weekly
"It’s hard to imagine something tinier than a Chihuahua can stir up so many emotions, escapades, steamy page-turners, phone sex businesses, visits to the shrinks, babies, dirty jokes…" muses Cohen in the opening to his naughty little giftbook. It’s not hard to imagine, however, the penis inspiring such an inane homage as this, which waxes poetic on the queer penis ("a precocious pickle") vs. the straight penis ("a born comparison shopper"); estimates the amount of semen an average male ejaculates over a 45-year period (30-50 quarts); reveals urinal etiquette ("Shake no more than three times"); lists the tests condom manufacturers perform on their products (including "The Shocker" and "The Wet Dream") and asks men to reflect on what would happen if they didn’t have a penis ("What would I scratch?" wonders Billy from Kenosha). Goofy photos, trivia tidbits, no-brainer sex tips and off-color jokes round out a silly little book that has gag gift written all over it.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From the Inside Flap
Think you know everything about penises?
Bet you don't know what hospitals do with foreskins after they've been snipped away. How fortunes were made in the war against wet dreams. The one song you should never whistle at a urinal. Or the woes of working on a "hopping penis" assembly line.
The Penis Book celebrates the male member like nothing else before. So get ready to learn. Laugh. And be downright titillated, too. No matter what your relationship with the penis, The Penis Book has something for everyone.
About the Author
Joseph Cohen is the author of several bestselling books including A Good Friend. He is the founder of Fresh Ideas Daily, a Manhattan-based book packaging company and advertising resource.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Sometimes
By Casey Nicholas
You tell me you're in love with me
Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
But every time you come too close I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me move slow
There's things about me you just have to know
Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby, all I need is time
I don't wanna be so shy
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You'll see that you're the only one for me
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me move slow
There's things about me you just have to know
Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time
Just hang around and you'll see
There's nowhere I'd rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you
Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide,
Sometimes I'm scared of you (oh)
But all I really want is to hold you tight (hold you tight)
Treat you right, be with you day and night (day and night)
Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night (day and night)
All I really want is to hold you tight
Be with you day and night
Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
[Fading]
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Very funny in other peoples visions in other parts of the ...
By Amazon Customer
This book was not what I expected,but when I began viewing it, I found it to be hilarious. Very funny in other peoples visions in other parts of the world, I never even knew about. Good illustrations, and good reading.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
a penis is a penis is a penis...
By LARRY
*The Penis Book* is an interesting "gag gift" of a book that you can give to friends or keep for yourself. In it are interesting facts and tidbits about the penis. This book is designed for anyone (men, gay, straight, women) to read.
In the book, you'll read about if size matters or not. You'll read how straight and gay men treat their penises. You'll learn international words for the penis. You'll learn to vary your metaphors for "spanking the monkey".
There are quirky stuff in there as well. Such as what goes on in the "penis head" toy manufacturing company. You'll read what men think they'll be or do if they didn't have a penis. You'll also read what women would do if they had a penis. You'll read quotes about bulges and self-sucking and odd news.
There are also some little known facts and historical tidbits. A mechanism device was created during one of the World Wars to curb wet dreams. You'll read up on the different names for body piercings in the groin area, such as the Prince Albert. You'll learn of a festival celebration of the penis in Asia.
There are plenty of pictures in this little book. However, none of them are pornographic. There are pictures of penis candies, metal penises, cartoon penises, penis-shaped toys, tattooed penises, painted penises and many others. You'll get to analyzed paintings of penises. It's like a world of penises in this book!
Weird quotes and poems are also provided. You'll laugh, groan and maybe nod in agreement. You'll share with your friends or partner. You'll roll your eyes. You might learn a thing or two.
My favorite parts are the different names of the penis around the world and the different metaphors for "rounding up tadpoles". Some of them would just make you laugh.
There's just so many stuff in this little book, which will surprise you. So, get this book and embrace the knowledge of the penis.
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